A look INSIDE
This book is about survival.
The mask
I tried to cover the duality of self in the writing and in the art - how becoming is a process of continual unfoldment. The shadow work was ironically inspired by a conversation I had on a drive with my ex-boyfriend.
The Art Part
Also known as lino printing or linoleum block printing, is a printmaking technique where an image is carved into a linoleum block, inked, and then pressed onto paper to create a print.
I loved the extractive process, creating something by taking something else away.
I also loved making my university order art materials from dickblick.com.
Linocutting
Re-MasterIng
—the original title for the project.
Kidding! After the linocuts were finished, I uploaded the scans to my iPad and did a few digital touch-ups.
Dream it
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Dream it 〰️
RUNS IN THE FAMILY
Ever since traveling to Chile and seeing printmakers sell their art on the street, I had an interest in linocutting. I either didn’t have the time to pursue my interest or told myself I did not have the time. It wasn’t until grad school where I made the decision: I’m done rushing, rushing foolishly with no purpose, rushing the process - whatever the process be. I tried to apply my new anti-rush philosophy to each realm of my life.
Linocutting seems to be an art form that actually repels rushing. So does poetry. I tackle my impatience by doing things designed to challenge me: printmaking, poetry, waiting, watching.
Little did I know, my great, great, great aunt was a poet and a printmaker. Her name was Mary Esma Williams, called May. The first poem she ever submitted was accepted by Life magazine. She left behind a legacy of 2,000 poems and seven published books. She received The Poetry Society of America’s first place award on two different occasions and was the Poet Laureate of the state of Kansas.
It has been an honor to unknowingly carry on this legacy.
That’s her art above - and you can read more about her by clicking on the hanger.
finer Things
A few drawings were impossible to make via linocutting. Too fine to cut. So, I drew them on my iPad.
The Word
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The Word *
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Reclaiming my mind’s territory came first, or in tandem with the poems. Over and over, I had to find what was true to me.
Adrienne Rich writes, “Responsibility to yourself means refusing to let others do your thinking, talking, and naming for you...it means that you do not treat your body as a commodity with which to purchase superficial intimacy or economic security; for our bodies to be treated as objects, our minds are in mortal danger.
It means insisting that those to whom you give your friendship and love are able to respect your mind.
It means being able to say, with Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre: I have an inward treasure born with me, which can keep me alive if all the extraneous delights should be withheld or offered only at a price I cannot afford to give.”
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I wrote every day and tried to have a harmonious relationship with time - even when it felt wrong or pointless to try.
Rick Rubin writes, “Discipline and freedom seem like opposites. They are partners. Discipline is not a lack of freedom; it is a harmonious relationship with time.”
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Rachel Richardson writes, “The word itself says so: re-vision. To see again, to see better”
Andrienne Richs writes, “Re-vision—the act of looking back, of seeing with fresh eyes, of entering an old text from a new critical direction - is for women more than a chapter in cultural history: it is an act of survival.
Until we can understand the assumptions in which we are drenched we cannot know ourselves.”
The Hard PARt
The hard part came with accepting myself - even the ugly parts. I had all these parts, parts who assumed this project would save me, money would save me, another planetary being would save me. This would be the shadow side of the project which, had it gone how I Wanted! or thought it should go, “Besides” wouldn’t exist, the book might be longer, more sappy, more something from a home & gardening magazine, and maybe not such a deep dive into my societal conditioning and the various dis-eases that came with my lack of self-respect.
Had it gone my way, I wouldn’t have developed a meaningful relationship with my mirror, whatever it be, at whatever moment in time. This time it happened to be a blank page.
Did I always like what came out? No. Did I sit with it? Yes. Will you read some of it? God-willing.
Fire takes FORM
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Fire takes FORM *
She devotes her entire life to painting, the art of painting. After having completed her greatest works, she takes them into the garden and sits to see them burning.
Her disciple asks her for an explanation in despair. She answers: “The art of setting fire is as important as all the other arts.”